Under Pressure

Getting my boobs out of the milk business has proven to be one of the most difficult and painful parts of the whole baby-making experience. At least with my pelvic pain and swelling during pregnancy I was fine unless I moved. Same with my surgical pain. Plus, for both of those I was given a handy stash of narcotics. This boob thing is nuts.

None of the methods I've heard of to decrease my production are working. I honestly think that most of these methods are designed for girls who are making about an ounce an hour. I'm making more like three ounces an hour. While Righty is playing ball, my left boob is just getting larger and larger. About an hour ago I decided to throw caution to the wind and went to pump just a little bit to kill the worst of the pain. Right there in the file room of work I moved aside the flap of my nursing bra and hosed down the cooler the HR department uses for their pot-lucks. Seriously, my boob was spraying like the fucking Bellagio fountain under it's own pressure. I aborted my plan to pump, and instead just held the little bottle and let my boob deflate itself. People, this is insane.

The only new advice I received in the last 24 hours was to see if I could get on the pill since that's supposed to reduce supply. I was thwarted yesterday, and decided to call and throw myself upon the mercy of my gyno to try to get a prescription in advance of my appointment in mid-July. He was on vacation, but the nurse offered to ask him when he called to check in. The answer wasn't just "no". The answer was "never". It turns out that due to my Factor XII deficiency and history of blood clots, I am no longer a candidate for the pill OR an IUD (which I previously planned).

I'd already been thinking about it, but now I'm pretty sure I'm going to get my tubes tied. I hated the back nine of my pregnancy, and I don't even want any more kids. The squirrel is awesome and I wouldn't trade him for anything, but I don't plan to go through these newborn days and nights again.

Another thing I don't plan to go through again? Getting my milk to dry up. This seriously sucks. It's like the body's last big "fuck you" of giving birth. I'm starting to feel like I'm not any closer to being milk free than I was two days ago. I'm sure I'm pumping too much too often, but the pain is intense and I'm a wimp.