We learned a couple of things over the weekend. First, Orion can poop out Nestle Good Start just fine as long as it doesn't have rice ceral in it. Second, Orion doesn't spit up Nestle Good Start as long as it has rice cereal in it.

That's just the kind of weekend it's been. We'll try oatmeal next. If Dr. Google can be trusted it will thicken the formula but not cause constipation. We'll see.

We also got a pretty crappy recommendation on Dr. Monorail. Evidently he provided pretty shoddy care to a friend of a friend, and was a dick about it to boot. We were over visiting the Gaxes (Melissa and Jeff) and since we were having so much fun, the visit ran longer than expected which required more formula. Doombot went all cheap ass on me at Babies R Us and made me feed the squirrel some breast milk, which he immediately refluxed. Bad.

Melissa picked up the phone and called Sandy, who proceeded to scare the shit out of me. I did learn about the oatmeal option and Dr. Monorail's people skills, but I also learned about how bad this could get. As it turns out, Sandy's baby also had laryngomalacia. The tests they did to diagnose the cause of the reflux showed that her baby was actually aspirating formula because of the weakness in the epiglottis. What tipped them off? The same nasty congested sound that Orion makes when he finishes eating. The solution? First, an NG tube that the baby kept pulling out and then whatever god-forsaken tube they actually put straight into their stomach. So now I sit and wait for my appointment knowing that I may end up having to tube feed my little guy. I don't know if my daycare will even accept him like that. I wonder if it would even help? Frankly, I'm so terrified, I'm not even talking about it.

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Instead, I'm talking about my boobs non-stop to anyone who will slow down long enough. With all signs pointing to successful formula deployment, I've started the weaning process. I don't have a baby to wean. No, I have to wean my Medela Pump-in-Style and that is one greedy bitch. It's actually kind of funny, because when I decided that we would move to formula I was pumping every four hours or so and getting five to six ounces. But once the girls discovered they were being put out to pasture, they've started working overtime. Suddenly I'm fully engorged after about an hour and a half and yeilding about 11 ounces, that's going straight down the drain.

Things are starting to get somewhat better except for the occasional hard knot that keeps cropping up. I owe what little relief I am getting to the sage and peppermint essential oils I'm taking along with as much sudafed as I can stomach. It's been five hours now since I pumped and I'd be doing fine (ish) except for a hard knot on the top of my right breast that I'm dealing with by applying a cold compress. By "cold compress" I mean that I have a can of Caffeine Free Diet Coke shoved in my bra.

Gimme a break. I'm desprate.